In today’s article, Kosi Ugo, a writer shares his story about the conversation he had with a girl who claimed she eats shit for a living in Dubai.
“What exactly do you do for a living in Dubai that fetches you this kind of money?”
I was on phone with a friend who flies in and out of Dubai like she was on a sort of sponsorship deal with Emirate Airways.
“Koko, do you really want to know?” She replied.
We had come that far to tell each other stuffs — personal stuffs that only few people knew, but this was the kind of closest thing I was asking her: not because I didn’t know she was doing something illegal, but because I wanted to be sure that she wasn’t involved in a complex prostitution ring she was finding hard to break out from.
“Yes, I wanna know,” I said.
“Well, Koko, I eat poo for a living.”
I allowed the news to digest in and thought about it carefully before replying.
“Do you mean eating poo literally or figuratively?”
Her next answer was going to tell me if she needed to avoid me.
“Well, we humans have at one point in our lives eaten poo figuratively before and most of us still do. In my case, I meant I eat poo literally.”
“Okay, before you avoid me completely, could you please explain?”
We both laughed.
“Koko, you’re not Buhari, we die here!” She laughed again. I laughed too.
She then began to narrate her story.
“You see, we live in a world where only crazy things appeal to rich people. The rich Arabs have sold their conscience to the devil and allowed him take over their souls, to the extent that sexual satisfaction has become a complex case for them…”
“Are you talking about BDSM?” I cut her short.
“No, Koko. This is way beyond BDSM. This is a rich Arab man paying you good amount of money to f**k his German Shepard dog, while he masturbates in your presence. This is a rich Arab man paying you good amount of money to allow ten of his friends f**k you till you pass out. This is a rich Arab man paying you good amount of money to pee inside your mouth and watch you gulp it down like it’s nothing. This is a rich Arab man paying you good amount of money to use you as his toilet, defecating in your mouth as he f**ks you. This is a rich Arab man paying you good amount of money to f**k a donkey while he screams “Allah Akbar” as he reaches orgasm.”
I was speechless for some time. Those words that came out of her mouth left me in grief and fear.
“But don’t you feel disgusted eating another man’s poo?” I asked.
”Koko, what’s your favorite food?”
“Beans and plantain,” I reply hurriedly.
“Koko, for the right price, poo would taste like Beans and Plantain in your mouth.”
I immediately rushed to the bathroom to throw up.